Note To Self 2.0

On this day of your life,

Anu, I believe God wants you to know...    

...that your heart will be opened again soon. Indeed,
very soon, if you are receptive to it.

Do not think that you have had your last chance to love.
God would never do that to you. Your chances are as
endless as life itself! So love, love, love. And do not
worry about who loves you back.

Then get set for more love to fill your days and nights,
precisely because you have not worried about it. For
you always receive from the world what you give to the
world. It is The Law.

You know exactly why you are reading this message
right now.

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Note To Self

Sometime all you need is a little balance. :) 

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I'm a lover, I'm a fighter

They say that things happen for a reason.
And I agree with that completely.

When it comes to matters of the heart, I am not one of those who can count their lucky stars. I've been, for most years of my life a hopeless romantic. (I blame the romantic novels that I read as a teenager.) When it came to reality, my life was so far from being a romantic tale. I had my share of crushes and most of them led to misadventures. The guys I liked didn't like me. The ones who liked me, I didn't like. Then there were guys I had chemistry with but nothing serious happened. In the end, it felt like it was always more about heartbreak then kisses. 

Yet, despite these heartbreaks I pushed on, getting to know more people, going for dates and learning about men. Fast forward to a few more heartbreaks and many more lessons, here I am once again. Single but caring deeply for someone. Someone who, one day soon will wake up and realise that he too cares deeply for me.

It is easy at this stage to decide to give up. It is extremely easy for me to say, "I'm done, I'm out of here."

But my heart won't let me do that. It remembers the days in the past when I continued to love even though there was no promise of love returned. My heart reminded me just the other day about the heartaches I've been through, when I was hurting yes, but not broken. The voice in my heart is calling out to me, recounting the times she has been scarred but becoming stronger because of those scars.

"How can you give up now?" My heart asks me.
"You are made out of so much more. It is not the time to admit defeat. It's time to march on, to your destiny."


And that is what I will do.

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The Rebel Bride

The rebel bride
walks towards the crowd
with no announcements
or thoughts of flashing her ring.

She walks in confidence
her face glowing
her heart pounding
yet remains calm and composed.

The rebel bride
chooses a dress
without pomp or drama
Boy, was she stunning.

She plans
she decides
she waits
for her oh-so-special night.

The rebel bride
walks into the room
with flowers in her hair
and a cream wedding dress.

She smiles
with her eyes
when she sees her groom
the only one in the room.

The rebel bride
meets the rebel groom
two rebel hearts joined
in the garden of love.

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By Fingers

There is no subject for this post today. No agenda, no news, no stories.

I'm just happy letting my fingers do the talking. Go wild fingers, you have the prerogative to do whatever you want. Such bliss. What utter freedom. Take this chance and make it yours.

The fingers want to talk about life. I suppose there is no escape.
What fingers want, fingers get.

Life is funny, said fingers.
You think you know what you want, but when you get it,
it's not what you expect it to be.
Life is funny.
You think you have it all under control, and suddenly, you don't.
Life is very funny.
When you are 2 year old looking at your aunty being her funny self.

Sometimes, the fingers wish they were 2 years old too.
So you don't have to think about the future.
So you don't have to worry about the present.
So you don't need to miss the past.

A past that consists of blurred images and happy moments. Ah, what a life!

But fingers are realistic, even if a bit idealistic.
They know there is no chance of going back.
They know the present is now
and the best think you can do is do what's best for now.
As for the future, who knows what's in store for these fingers?
Fingers that travel, fingers that make tons of money, fingers that love.

Ah, fingers what a tangled web of uncertainties you are in.
But with these uncertainties, comes freedom.
Comes the joy of not knowing  what's in store, of dreaming and creating.
Dreams and desires.

Ah, fingers.

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The Beer Date

We were at the bar.

We ordered beers and had lots to talk about.

Then you challenged me to drink a full pint of beer.

I saw that glint in your eye and accepted that challenge.

I psyched myself and started on the task, determined to do it, to win.I was doing a good job and was about to finish swallowing the last few mouthfuls when I happened to glance at you.

You made a funny face.
I laughed.

The beer, somehow magically escaped from my throat and mouth,
and made its way to your hand and trousers.

Then the truth dawned on me.
I had just spewed beer on my date.

I was mortified.
I looked at you to see your reaction.

You were shocked at first.
And then you laughed.

There was that glint in your eye again.

It was that moment when I started loving you. 


P/S- This is is a Cowbird story. 

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