37

Like a rolling stone, my friend Vijay's nostalgic email to me this afternoon, gathered momentum and I found myself bitten by the sentimental bug. I re-read some of my old posts and I was hugely entertained by the silly anecdotes that I shared on this blog over the past few years.

Those were the days when writing on this blog meant I was writing. Never mind that my life was made out of  boring, unspectacular events that just happened. All I knew is, I had to write and the blog was my empty canvas.

There are also some great truths hidden behind these posts and some of which I can remember clearly. Most of all, about the love lessons that I've encountered. 

At 37, life has changed for me somewhat in some ways but not all. The greatest achievement for me so far, if anyone would ask, is that I am a writer and make a living out of it. I'm still on the quieter side, a little reserved, but I'd like to think that I make up for it when I write. 

It is the best feeling in the world, a stirring in my soul, when anyone asks me what I do and I get to tell them that I'm a writer. 

For that (and more) I am thankful.

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Ode To My Green Umbrella

Dear GU,

I knew this day would come, the day when I had to send you off on a new adventure. Or perhaps you would prefer some time to lie down and rest, you certainly deserve it after all the work you’ve done over the past years.

We had a quite a few adventures together, haven’t we? It started off rather casually, with you accompanying me just in case there was an emergency. Then the rains came and we were a team you and I, almost every day.

Although, I must admit, my fondest memories are of you and braving the rain to go for assignments in the streets of Kuala Lumpur.  Remember the time we went for a press conference at Corus Hotel and it rained cats & dogs?  That evening, it felt like it was you and me against the world – as we got to the LRT station.  Two years ago, when I got my dream assignment, to go to the Rainforest Music Festival in Kuching, I took you along with me, just in case the rains came along. You didn’t have to work that time, but it was surely one of the best times of my life.

That was of course before we took that long flight from KL to London then London to Madrid on my solo Spanish adventure.  I was so glad that you were with me that Monday when it poured buckets from my Sevillan ‘home’ to language school. With you by my side, I got to see the magnifique La Alhambra in Granada  and La Mesquita in Cordoba. We survived the giggling pick-pockets of Madrid and the suited ones in Barcelona. And I will never forget how the rain washed away my dreams off seeing the sunny side of Barcelona, but thanks to you I got to see many famous landmarks in the city, including La Sagrada Famili, Gaudi’s Parc Guell and the beach.

Thank you for all the times you protected me from the rain. You were my companion on my journeys and I wish you sweet dreams.

Love,

AV  

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Looking Back, Moving Forward

September turns into December with a blink of an eye.

And yes, things have changed these past few months. For one, I am no longer walking on the thin line of taking care of  a kid and working from home. I now officially have an out of home job, new colleagues and a life of my own. Yay!

One month into the job, I am grateful, very thankful to God & The Universe for this opportunity. It is just what I needed. This year has been quite a trying year for me...but I did enjoy the fact that I tried something different. Looking after a baby is no mean feat. Looking after a baby and trying to look for work is even more difficult. But at the end of the day, it's important to look at the bigger picture and what I learnt from this period. Lesson 1: I am capable of taking care of a baby. Lesson 2: Life is short and I need to make sure that I do what I want to do.

I've also learnt to look at my myself in the mirror and loving that reflection. Yes, I do wear glasses but I still think I'm pretty good looking. ;) And it's been a revelation that it no longer hurts when people judge me from a single photograph they see online and that it doesn't matter if they don't want to get to know me because of that.  Why waste precious time and energy on people who are not worth it?

Looking forward to 2013 (since the Mayan's prediction of the world coming to an end didn't work out, as I expected), I will continue to work on my health, eat better and exercise more. I will work on being more independent and staying true to myself. I will also try to be a better friend to my friends, better daughter and sister and aunty to Juhi. And open my heart once again to possibilities of life.

Cheers 2012, Hola 2013!

Anu

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I Await

And oh, it looks like the new beginning is a little delayed. But I don't mind one bit. I await the right moment for it to begin. :)

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My Selfish Happy Self

Sometimes (or rather almost always) it pays to be selfish. If being selfish is doing something that you enjoy - it can't be that bad can it? As long as you don't kill/harm someone else in that process of being happy, its all good.

After months of hard work and soul searching, I decided that I needed some time out and that I would go out to a club, listen to some good music and drink a little alcohol. It has been years (and I mean almost 8 years) since I last went to a club, so I excited about the prospect of getting my feet wet in the club scene once again.

So I put my heels (the only ones I had), wore my favourite new dress and loop earrings and headed out to a new club with a few friends.

And it was almost like how it was when I left the scene, minus the good looking guys. (They must have gone to another club yesterday.) While it took me a while to get into the dancing zone, when the happy buzz kicked in, I was on a roll. Out came my 90's moves! After lots of songs, several alcoholic beverages later, I was having a blast - right until we decided to call it a night at 4am.

The point is I had to do something for myself after months of doing things for others. And it felt great! And I still feel fabulous! So to all of those people who believe that you should think of others first, before yourself - I strongly oppose this idea. I challenge you to do something for yourself. Chances are you will be so happy and want to genuinely think of others next.

So call me selfish, I call me happy. Looking forward the many more me-time sessions I will have in the future. :)

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New Beginnings

New beginnings.

You crave for it and when it comes...the first instinct is to retreat, to say wait, I'm not ready yet. But the truth is you know there is no such thing as being ready. Unless you are in a desperate situation. If life is bearable, then new beginnings can also be quite scary. The unknown can be scary sometimes.

But deep in your heart, you know that whatever is in store for you in the future, you are ready to take it on. Ready to learn something new, make mistakes, learn from them and be a better person. Ready to meet new people and perhaps even to learn something from them. New friendships, new bonds, new, new, new!

So here's a little note to new beginning. I'm ready, come get me. :)

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