The truth is everyday I think about him, even if its in a small, simple way. There are days when I can't listen to anyone talk about him without having tears in my eyes. But there are also days when my heart is filled with his face, his actions, his thoughts and he gives me comfort in his own way.
Work makes me feel better, but it also leaves a bittersweet feeling. I remember all those times when I was home, but not really at home because I was busy writing, busy finishing up my stories. When I could have been with him, talking to him about his childhood days or whatever he wanted to. But that is life, you're always chasing something else thinking that it is important, when you let the real important stuff slip by.
I make mistakes, I am only human. They said it right - you don't know what you've got until it's gone. So true! I will just have to remember all those times when we were together, the funny things he used to say, the things he used to teach me even though I didn't want to listen (yes, I admit it!)
But I know, even though I wasn't the perfect daughter he accepted me as I am and always thought the best of me - as fathers often feel about their children. And as days pass, it may still hurt but I know I will get by with the memories of him, in the big corner of my mind and centre of my heart.
Blogging also helps, so emo Anu is here for a while...:)