Free.

It's been 10 days since I blogged and boy have things changed since then.

I don't know if there is something in the air but I do feel a change coming. I no longer feel heartbroken. At worst, I feel a little sad. It's like suddenly I have seen the light and that things are going to be more than alright.

Funny how can read things a million times or listen to people say the same ol' thing and one day, all that stuff u read and heard makes absolute sense. Strange, but in a very good way.

So here I am, 10 days later feeling like I've gone up to a new level and there is no turning back.

It's just one straight road to being free.

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I know it feels like fate...

Like these are mistakes we're meant to make...
(Losing It All - Shannon Noll)

And yes, I am reading 'Treat Them Mean and Keep Them Keen'. I obviously need help in that department - keeping them guys. Haha. I know, I know it's not something u can adopt from a book BUT it does give u a better bigger picture. Reading = learning.

These past few days have been a bit of a emotional rollercoaster for me, as I try to digest the changes that's happening. It seems a little difficult now, for sure...but I am pretty sure that in a couple of months time, I'll look back at this and say "It's over now, I am all good."

In the meantime, I shall keep my chin up, listen to lots of good music, drink a few margaritas and catch up with friends.

"This too shall pass."

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The Drama Mama Strikes!

Everybody's life has some drama, at one point or another. I guess mine has started today. And my birthday is around the corner some more. Perfect timing right? Or, maybe not!

As much as I love my aunties, (u gotta love them rite, they are family), sometimes they can just be exasperating and over the top. Take for instance Aunty B, who spends her time 'looking out' for eligible single guys and girls she can introduce each other to. She has been trying to set me up a guy, but so far it has yet to work out.

Just before I left for Melbourne, she decided to try to set me up with a 37-year-old guy, let's call him Mr P. Long story short, we have yet to meet, but he did add me on FB. He hasn't called me either nor has he messaged since the first day we communicated.

Now, it's almost a month since I returned from Melbourne and I haven't heard from him, so I have a hunch that Mr P is not interested. So I told Aunty B what I felt. She told me to hold on, cos' he is away in China for work so "just wait and see". So I waited.

Today, she sends me a forward of a message she sent to him. OVER the top message. It went something like this:

"Anyway P, if u are looking for a glamourous and attractive person, she is not the one but if u want someone who is soft spoken, pleasant, good natured and who comes from a good family,Anu is the one.

I am not praising her or the family but we come from a middle class family and I felt both of u can fit into our families. So I leave it to u but only hope everything will be ok."

How is that not embarrassing? I know she means well, but is this the right way to do it?
And yes, I may not be glamourous, but I do believe I am attractive, in my own way, Aunty B. As 'perasan' as it sounds, guys do drool over me, occasionally. But I can't tell u that, can I?

And what does Mr P reply? (yes, she forwarded me his reply too).

"Dear Aunty B I will surely meet her just that I don't feel well after the China trip. Hope it gets better soon for me to give a decision."

And that ladies and gentlemen, is the reality of a modern day arranged marriage proposal.

Aunty introduces Boy and Girl. They meet, on a so-called date at a chosen place. Aunty asks Girl how she feels then says, let's wait and see what he says. And so the waiting game begins. Days turn into weeks and still no word is heard. And then one fine day, Girl finds out Boy is not interested, one month or two later.

Of course that doesn't happen to each and every girl. I suppose it would help if the Girl is thin, fair and beautiful because at the end of the day, that is what counts. Not so much personality or character. And unfortunately, not all of us are blessed with "the look" but we do have a lot more to give but alas, those qualities are just not enough.

Can u blame me for not wanting to be hooked up this way? But I know she's only looking out for me, so how can I get mad? But I think it's time to tell my well meaning aunties that I've had enough of these introductions.

I think I shall continue to be single. It's working out pretty well so far, plus minus a few aches and pains. But that's normal - be it single, married, divorced. So it is fine then. Single it is.

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This Is Me!

What is it with personality tests? I can never get enough of them. Perhaps it is a way for me to understand myself better. Plus it's always so interesting. When the opportunity to find out about my personality comes by, I take it. This time around, the quiz has given me the comfort, (if that's the right word) that I am not the only one who goes through life's episodes this way. And somehow, that makes me feel better. It's not something I can explain, unfortunately, it just does. The (♪) indicates I agree with the statement.

Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Judging (INFJs)

*value personal integrity and "being true to yourself" ♪

*are on a lifelong search for a unique identity and meaning; spirituality is important to us ♪

*can be hard to get to know, depending on the other person (reciprocity) ♪

*are sometimes seen by others as cold and hard on the outside ♪

*can be difficult to "peg"; sometimes INFJs may not even recognise fellow members of their own type ♪

*may find it easier to express their deepest feelings and sentiments non-verbally or in writing ♪

*abhor evil or injustice, especially that directed towards the innocent or helpless ♪

*are sometimes looked upon by others as naive, mostly due to our idealism ♪

*can be quite gullible; many INFJs build up a protective armour over the years to protect against this and being "used" by others ♪

*enjoy thoughtful discussion but dislike arguing for argument's sake, as this often degenerates into ugly conflict (half a ♪)

*are bookworms, love bookstores and libraries ♪

*are affiliative; get stressed and cannot survive for extended periods without company ♪

*rarely get into conflict, but when it erupts, can be very bitter ♪

*aren't terribly career-minded (well I don't have grand ambitions of having my own company or being the boss, so half a ♪)

*love personality tests and other self-improvement tools ♪

*love quotes/quotations and are often "philosophers" or "theologists" ♪

*need to confide in others and express opinions and feelings about others: Fe-ing (Feeling extraverted)

*are "Directors" who give advice, though usually more subtly than most other Directors.

*are interested in ESP, paranormal, "new age," or psychic experiences (half a ♪)

*"Mute withdrawal is a major INFJ defense." ♪

*often have "oceanic" memories where details are recalled through intuitive leaps and thought association

At Work

INFJs tend to be devoted to what they believe in and seek work where their needs, values, and ideals can be deeply engaged. They move on the wave of their inspirations and are determined to see that their values are worked out in their lives. (True)

INFJs prefer occupations that focus on the big picture, involve conceptual awareness, and lead to a better understanding of the spiritual, emotional, or future needs of people. They want their work to have impact and meaning and for it to bring them admiration and respect. (True)

At Relationships

For INFJs, "still waters run deep." They tend to become attracted to someone special and prefer this one deep relationship over many superficial ones. (True)

They may not openly demonstrate, or even verbalize, their intense feelings. (True) INFJs often have an ideal standard of what love is. They hold to their ideal and are disappointed when, inevitably, their relationship and/or their mate reveals flaws.

INFJs, when scorned, take it personally and retreat inward. They may obsess about the relationship and their role in its failure. (True) INFJs may blame themselves and experience a period of mourning. If they do not marshall their resources, externalize their feelings, and take risks to move on, they may experience a long period of self-examination.

The test is based on the Carl Jung and Isabel Myers-Briggs typological approach to personality. If you want to find out or re-evaluate how personality type, check it out here.

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