I want to write sins!

Once in a while, the table turns around and I am at the one with answering questions instead of asking them. It's not too bad...once in a while. :) Thanks to my friend Eileen, for asking me to do this in the first place. You can check out more encounters at: http://anencounterwith.blogspot.com

An Encounter With...: An Encounter with...Tragedy

Name : Anu Venugopal

Age : 34

Where Are You From? : Malaysia

Currently Residing In… : Malaysia

What Do You Do For A Living? : Journalist/Writer

AEW : What does the word “Tragedy” conjure up for you?

AV : An unexpected event that changes life as you know it and forces you to evolve into someone different, hopefully someone better.

AEW : Some people use the word “tragedy” very loosely. What are your thoughts on that?

AV : It’s true, people tend to describe anything that doesn’t go their way as a tragedy – even if it means missing out on one’s favourite food or being stuck in traffic, but those events are not tragedies, merely inconveniences.

AEW : Have you been through a tragedy yourself?

AV : I used to think being broken-hearted was the worst tragedy, but now the biggest, most significant tragedy I had been through is my father’s passing.

AEW : I am truly sorry to hear that {HUGS}. How did you survive through the tragedy and after?

AV : I don’t think I have completely survived it as yet. I am still in the process, by thinking positive, by remembering dad’s words of wisdom, his perceptions of life and his sense of humour.

AEW : I do remember how timely your Dad always appears the moment I light up a ciggie back in the day! Anyway, how much of surviving a tragedy is mental strength and how much of it is physical strength?

AV : 70-30 I think. You have to will yourself to get past the tragedy, to get past the pain and look for the silver lining. There is always a silver lining, whether it is obvious or not. You just got to look harder sometimes.

AEW : How strong do you think a normal human being is? What do you think is “breaking-point” for someone? Or do you think there IS a breaking point in the first place?

AV : A normal human being is as strong as he or she thinks she is. It is all up to the individual. If you think you are strong, then you are. I think there is a breaking point, but it is not as serious as it sounds. Yes, things can get so bad to a point that you don’t want to wake up, but it is never as bad as you think. It can get better.

AEW : That is something to ponder about really. Hey, have you heard of Panic At The Disco? J

You : The rock band from Las Vegas with the cool songs and videos? Yes!

AEW : So do you consider yourself writing sins or writing tragedies?

AV : A bit of both - sins and tragedies. But I am trying to write more sins than tragedies *grins*. Life's more exciting that way.

AEW : You're right. It is indeed more fun that way! I myself write a lot of sins too! *giggles*. Anyway, Anu, thank you for sharing today. And be strong.

Posted by dolphintales at 1:01 AM

Labels: light and candid

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Dreamin'

I was talking to my colleague about dreams the other day. It is just funny (in an interesting sorta way) that the dreams I've had of my late grandmother can more often be scary, than sweet. And this despite the fact that she used to love my sister and I and was never shy of showing her affection - it's a mystery to me.

Like the other day, I dreamt that I went into my room was switching on the lights and fan, but nothing was working. And then I turned towards my bed and there she was right in front of me, in her white sari, holding a candle and there was a mirror next to her. In my dream I was scared, and I tried to push her (why would I want to push my dear grandmother, I don't know) and she dodged my push. Then she said "Nalle Kaana" in Malayalam, meaning ''See you tomorrow.'' And then I woke up, startled. It was a pretty scary dream for me.

Maybe the dream is a way of saying that she has the solution for what I am seeking. Or maybe the candle (light) is her way of giving me hope. Perhaps. A point to ponder for sure.

And so far I have dreamt about my dad, but it's all been short and non-scary. He's always with us, doing something he would normally have done, when he was around. Well, I have been thinking about him so it's logical, that I would dream about him.

Speaking of dreams and dad, I remember one particular dream I had about him a few years ago. He got a call from some company who said that he had won a competition - he had the most vitamin among the contestants. Can't remember what he won though, probably more vitamins. He was always into his vitamins, he used to take them religiously. He had a good laugh when I told him about the dream. Hmmm.

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Blessed

Wouldn't it be nice if I had a secret fan/reader who looked forward to reading my movie reviews, because he/she thought I write it well? Ah, we can all have dreams. :)

I must confess there are times when I truly love my job. The feeling is so strong, it's like I can almost taste the sweetness. Having worked for 10 years now I've always had a strong attachment with my jobs, but this latest one is the icing on the cake. There are times, when I search for the right words to describe a scenario, I get this huge adrenaline rush. And when I do find that right word or construct a whole sentence that I am proud of, it's just a moment of pure bliss.

Every so often I do feel blessed to have this job as a writer. Love it to bits I do. And I've said this quite often to God, thank you for giving me the chance to be able to discover my way with words and make a living off it. Thank you!

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Book Review: Tapai - Travels & Guilty Pleasures of a Fermented Malaysian

Title: Tapai - Travels & Guilty Pleasures of a Fermented Malaysian
Author: Hishamuddin Rais
Publisher: ZI Publications
Ratings: 7/10

If you think the title of the book is intrigu­ing as the reviewer did, you are in for a treat. Written by Hishamuddin Rais, the columnist for Off The Edge magazine, blog­ger and former ISA detainee has plenty to say in this book that pays tribute to a diverse selection of gastronomic adven­tures.

From his sister's home-made tapai, gulai itik at a village restaurant and satay in Kua­la Lumpur, his many accounts of flavourful dishes are consistently both detailed and drool-worthy.

Hishamuddin's tales of tasty concoctions are not only from Malaysia but from cities across the world, including Rawalpindi, Tokyo and London.

Tapai - Travels & Guilty Pleasures of a Fermented Malaysian is a unique read as it fuses stories about a variety of food fe­tishes with real life travelling anecdotes. Between "food porn" and cultural experi­ences from his days of exile, it is hard to pinpoint which aspect defines the book.

While the mixing of English, Bahasa Ma­laysia and French may be frowned upon by hardcore linguists, it portrays the au­thor's straight-forward, relaxed and open minded persona to the front. Hishamud­din's personal and candid method of writ­ing is a breath of fresh air.

Adding to the authenticity of his stories are colourful photos of dishes he tried with relish and people he met while on his quest for good old fashioned food. Warning - this book may make you hungry and cause you to travel the world in search of new flavours. - By Anu Venugopal

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The Truth

The truth is everyday I think about him, even if its in a small, simple way. There are days when I can't listen to anyone talk about him without having tears in my eyes. But there are also days when my heart is filled with his face, his actions, his thoughts and he gives me comfort in his own way.

Work makes me feel better, but it also leaves a bittersweet feeling. I remember all those times when I was home, but not really at home because I was busy writing, busy finishing up my stories. When I could have been with him, talking to him about his childhood days or whatever he wanted to. But that is life, you're always chasing something else thinking that it is important, when you let the real important stuff slip by.

I make mistakes, I am only human. They said it right - you don't know what you've got until it's gone. So true! I will just have to remember all those times when we were together, the funny things he used to say, the things he used to teach me even though I didn't want to listen (yes, I admit it!)

But I know, even though I wasn't the perfect daughter he accepted me as I am and always thought the best of me - as fathers often feel about their children. And as days pass, it may still hurt but I know I will get by with the memories of him, in the big corner of my mind and centre of my heart.

Blogging also helps, so emo Anu is here for a while...:)

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Me Mini

Knowing that I am walking on the same path my father did gives me hope and much happiness.

He told me about this jogging track in Subang a while back and I told myself that I would explore that track soon - but for the longest time I was happy to be going on my own favourite route. I found time on hands and a desire to try something new last Friday.So I made my way to the area and there is was - a little walking track that was had a lot of greens and character. No wonder he liked it. And as I walked along the track I couldn't help but think he would have walked on the same track just over two months ago.

It's a good feeling somehow. That also got me started on thinking about the other things that I have in common with him.

First of all I look like a lot like him, some people say I'm a carbon copy. He walked a lot and enjoyed it - same here. We love books and bookshops also quotations. When we are passionate about something, we go on and on about it. We are both the strong, silent type. We have the same philosophy about credit card management. (Ok, so maybe his philosophy got stuck in my head.) We are both thinkers but admittedly he did more than just think - he did a lot too.

I've got lots more to share about my father. He had this "Book of Knowledge" as he called it, where he wrote interesting things he read including this one :-

“Life is like a ten-speed bike. Most of us have gears we never use” by Linus, friend of Charlie Brown/Snoopy. Although he didn't get to use all those gears, he did try his best. And now it is me who has to use those gears.

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My Father, My Hero

Every once in a while Life reminds you of the Greater forces working as you go about making your own plans.

After spending six weeks in hospital, my father passed away on Sep 22, 2010. He was 68. He had a stroke and was on his way to recovery when the infections refused to leave him. Long story short, he was a brave man who fought very hard to get over it, to spend an additional month with us, until he could no longer fight anymore.

In retrospect, the last month has been one of many small miracles. It was as if God had decided to give us all one month time bonus, so that we could show him how much he meant to us and vice versa.

I will never forget the first time I fed him homemade lunch at the hospital. I also gave him his favourite fruit - grapes and he held my hand for a few minutes, without saying anything. Now I wish I had said something more at that moment, I felt blessed to share that moment with him. I will never forget that determination he had, when he told me "Anu, I will come back in 5 days," and how everytime the nurses would ask him how he was he would say "Good" and put his thumb up.

It was difficult to see him suffer the last two weeks and when it was time for him to leave us, I was upset and yet relieved, because that would mean he didn't have to suffer anymore.

I've never written anything about my dad in my posts because he was always there, giving snippets of knowledge through bits of conversation. A man of few words, he was the kind of person who knew and understood a lot, but didn't think it was necessary to say it out aloud. He was the one who instilled the love of reading,words and language in me and in his own, quiet way led me to the path of writing as my chosen profession, my passion. His calm and cool demenour was a breath of fresh air. If he didn't agree with the way some people behaved, he simply accepted them and went on with his own daily activities. He was always there for me and I could talk to him about anything and he would listen. And even though I never told him many things, he always understood how I felt. He was the best father I could have ever asked for.

I'm so lucky to have had him in my life for the past 34 years.

He had a nature you could not help loving
And a heart that was purer than gold
And to those who knew him and loved him
His memory will never grow old

Rest in peace now Acha, you are still here with us, with me, because you will always be in my heart, until the end.

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Time Out

Quiet Superstitions will be on hiatus for a bit. I'm taking a break from blogging until I feel like sharing my thoughts and feelings once again. Hope to come back soon, feeling better and as happy as my last post. Gracias.

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Quickie No 4

Although these few weeks have been quite busy for me, it has also been quite rewarding.

Work as always keeps me busy. I'm on my no-carbs plus a little cheating diet, once again. I'm going for morning jogs. (Ok, so it's more like a fast walk rather than a jog). I'm cutting down my intake of coffee and alcohol. I'm having lots and lots of green tea.

I've never been in a better state of mind (or heart). I am no longer trying to get over a guy. I'm thisclose to being completely over him. I am happy to be single, to mingle and see what the stars have in store for me. I don't know what other people think (and frankly I don't really care) but I've never felt sexier. ;) And my pimples have disappeared (touch wood).

I'm happy for my friends and family who have good news in their life. Rena, if you are reading this, congrats! :) Once again I feel like I've gone up one level.

Of course not everything is peachy. That's not how life works, unfortunately. I'm checking out opportunties in the job front, both local and overseas.See what comes up. And start working on my Europe plan next year. Overall, exciting times ahead...

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Tips for travelling by Paulo Coelho

1. Avoid museums. This might seem to be absurd advice, but let’s just think about it a little: if you are in a foreign city, isn’t it far more interesting to go in search of the present than of the past? It’s just that people feel obliged to go to museums because they learned as children that travelling was about seeking out that kind of culture. Obviously museums are important, but they require time and objectivity – you need to know what you want to see there, otherwise you will leave with a sense of having seen a few really fundamental things, except that you can’t remember what they were.

2. Hang out in bars. Bars are the places where life in the city reveals itself, not in museums. By bars I don’t mean nightclubs, but the places where ordinary people go, have a drink, ponder the weather, and are always ready for a chat. Buy a newspaper and enjoy the ebb and flow of people. If someone strikes up a conversation, however silly, join in: you cannot judge the beauty of a particular path just by looking at the gate.

3. Be open. The best tour guide is someone who lives in the place, knows everything about it, is proud of his or her city, but does not work for an agency. Go out into the street, choose the person you want to talk to, and ask them something (Where is the cathedral? Where is the post office?). If nothing comes of it, try someone else – I guarantee that at the end of the day you will have found yourself an excellent companion.

4. Try to travel alone or – if you are married – with your spouse. It will be harder work, no one will be there taking care of you, but only in this way can you truly leave your own country behind. Travelling with a group is a way of being in a foreign country while speaking your mother tongue, doing whatever the leader of the flock tells you to do, and taking more interest in group gossip than in the place you are visiting.

5. Don’t compare. Don’t compare anything – prices, standards of hygiene, quality of life, means of transport, nothing! You are not travelling in order to prove that you have a better life than other people – your aim is to find out how other people live, what they can teach you, how they deal with reality and with the extraordinary.

6. Understand that everyone understands you. Even if you don’t speak the language, don’t be afraid: I’ve been in lots of places where I could not communicate with words at all, and I always found support, guidance, useful advice, and even girlfriends. Some people think that if they travel alone, they will set off down the street and be lost forever. Just make sure you have the hotel card in your pocket and – if the worst comes to the worst – flag down a taxi and show the card to the driver.

7. Don’t buy too much. Spend your money on things you won’t need to carry: tickets to a good play, restaurants, trips. Nowadays, with the global economy and the Internet, you can buy anything you want without having to pay excess baggage.

8. Don’t try to see the world in a month. It is far better to stay in a city for four or five days than to visit five cities in a week. A city is like a capricious woman (or a capricious man, if you are a woman): she/he takes time to be seduced and to reveal him/herself completely.

9. A journey is an adventure. Henry Miller used to say that it is far more important to discover a church that no one else has ever heard of than to go to Rome and feel obliged to visit the Sistine Chapel with two hundred thousand other tourists bellowing in your ear. By all means go to the Sistine Chapel, but wander the streets too, explore alleyways, experience the freedom of looking for something – quite what you don’t know – but which, if you find it, will – you can be sure – change your life.

As an old hippie, I know what I’m talking about…
The text was taken from my book “Like a flowing river”

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Book Review: Wellbeing — The Five Essential Elements, Twenties Girl | Malay Mail Online

Title: Wellbeing - The Five Essential Elements

Author: Tom Rath & Jim Harter

Publisher: Gallup Press

Year of publication: 2010

Rating: 8/10

This is not your regular straighten-me-up self-help book.

Wellbeing - The Five Essential Elements is a conversational guide to holistic wellness that deals with the bigger picture first, before getting to the finer details in life.

Authors Rath and Harter present five ele­ments crucial to the wellness of each individual - career, social, financial, physical and commu­nity wellbeing.

After explaining each aspect in breezy detail, they finish off with the art of mea­suring what makes life worthwhile.

In addition, there are tools and resources - including statistics on wellbeing across the United States and 150 countries, conducted by Gallup to find out how the five elements shape their lives.

Interesting to note is that Malaysia is ranked 52 in the wellness survey, with Denmark and Togo coming in first and last respectively.

Among several interesting points raised in the book is the fact that wellbeing is not just about being happy. Nor is it about wealth, career suc­cess or physical health, but it is a combination of the five elements mentioned.

While most of the content isn't something new, this reviewer found the authors' personal presentation of the five elements refreshing and learnt many small but insightful lessons about the art of being well.

Another interesting aspect of the book is it comes with a unique code that can be used to measure one's wellbeing online and proceed to track your wellbeing over time.

An easy read that will make you re-define one's perception of happiness and wellness. - By Anu Venugopal

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Koh Phangan Pictures

Suzhen and I just after landing at Koh Samui airport.

Dom and I in the van before we got scolding from the immigration ladies.

Suzhen and I happily drinking our beers.

The yummylicious banana chocolate (nutella) pancake.

Trying to finish off the pancake ourselves before Dom gets to them.

Just after getting wet in the rain......;P

This is what too much alcohol can do to u - a few 'happy' guys trying to jump the fire rope.

Dom in red dress and Suzhen in yellow top dancing away on the table. ;)

Get your plastic buckets with alcohol here! Unfortunately nothing worked on me! :P

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Koh Phangan Jun 25-28

Beautiful unicorns and rainbows -was what I was hoping to see as I had my first ever Mushroom Shake - in the island of Koh Phangan (KP).

Instead what did I see? Absolutely nothing! I didn't even feel the familiar buzzy alcohol effect. After careful and long delibrations with my colleagues-friends and KP roomates Dom and Suzhen, we decided that we were cheated! Cheated by the Thai's at Mountain Bar at Haad Rin Beach out of 500 baht (almost RM50)!

After all that talk from Sharky and Dom's cousin about only drinking a quarter of a glass, it was extremely disappointing that neither of us felt even a tad high after drinking that so-called Happy Shake. We were soooo not happy!

However, luckily for us we still had a good time at KP. How could we not?

First there was the glorious food. Tom yam, green curry chicken, pad thai, banana chocolate pancake (yummylicious!). And many bottles of Chang beer. Then there was the Full Moon Party, where hundreds of party goers gathered to party from dusk to dawn. The cool girlfriends gyrated on the table while yours truly went around taking photos of the scenes. Unfortunately, the same official photographer also did a boo-boo when 'she' decided to go ahead and dunk into the cool KP sea and forgetting there was a camera in the bag. How stupid! (I'm so sorry Dom!).

But the good news is, Dom got to save the pictures.

Anyways, despite the accident and the rain that got the party wet (but didn't dampen the party spirit of party-goers), we did actually have a good time. There was plenty of eye candy to look at, the atmosphere was so happening. There were times when I felt I was in a music video - with everyone dancing around me and me walking through them.

I don't think I'll ever forget the time when Dom and I went back to our 'bangalow' for more money and ended up sitting in front of a hair dresser waiting for the rain to subside. The visions of topless young men walking past us is not something I can forget easily. ;)

For those who haven't gone to the island before, the main issue is communication - the Thai's don't speak much English and we seemed to be getting a lot of wrong information. Also, be ready for minor upsets as there are bound to happen. At the last leg of the trip, we took the taxi to pier for a boat ride back to Koh Samui...and when we were checking in to get tickets, we found out our boat was at the pier adjecent to the one we were at. So we had to run, Amazing Race style to catch our boat back. I tell u - what a run it was!

Best of all was the time spent with my lovely colleagues-friend Dom and Suzhen - priceless moments, for sure. I'm so glad we did this trip together.

Pictures coming up very very soon.

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;)

This time next week at Koh Phangan, this will be me.

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Quickie No 3

I gotta admit I have been the lazy blogger recently. The truth is nothing big has happened for me to blog about. Nothing spectacular and nothing too boring. Life goes on. Work keeps me busy, most of the time. There are good days and bad. There was a blues-y episode couple of weeks back, but that has passed and it's all good now.

Oh yes 19 days before I leave for the sandy shores of Koh Phangan. Very excited about that - my first trip to Thailand. And to prepare for the trip I am on my protein diet. No carbs until Jun 25 plus my usual morning walk. That seems to be one of those good habits I've picked up this year.

Life is peachy. No complaints.

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To new experiences

When my friend Sharky told me that the mind expands after every new experience, I only half believed him (He's a joker, that one.)

But what he said really intrigued me and I had to find out if he was indeed telling the truth.

So I took my question online and what I found out is that it's true. And no, expanding the mind doesn't mean your skull is going to become larger or that your brain will grow. Scientifically, the brain becomes denser with neuronal connections which facilitates more memory and speed of retrival.

"A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions" said Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr., an American jurist from 1902-1903.

Last week, I was assigned to go to Singapore to cover Andrea Bocelli's concert at the Botanical Gardens. Not a fan of classical music, I wasn't too happy about being assigned to it, but I knew I didn't have much choice over it.

Then I remembered about expanding minds with new experience and decided that I would make the best out of it.

Now I know why people rave about the amazing tenor. He was brilliant. And I don't even like classical music! Accompanied by the Singapore Philharmonic Orchestra, it was an evening I've will never forget.

It was also a chance for me to debut my purple dress, that I bought six months ago. I must admit that I looked lovely in it (perasans) and am very glad I bought that dress, despite being RM150 poorer. It was worth every cent.

Although I didn't manage to get a one-to-one photo with Bocelli, I did manage to get a blurry picture of him with my Blackberry.


And I also got a chance to chat with Delta Goodrem, who was the guest singer at the concert (she sang beautifully and looked gorgeous!). And here's me in my purple dress.


Here's to many more new experiences!

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Free.

It's been 10 days since I blogged and boy have things changed since then.

I don't know if there is something in the air but I do feel a change coming. I no longer feel heartbroken. At worst, I feel a little sad. It's like suddenly I have seen the light and that things are going to be more than alright.

Funny how can read things a million times or listen to people say the same ol' thing and one day, all that stuff u read and heard makes absolute sense. Strange, but in a very good way.

So here I am, 10 days later feeling like I've gone up to a new level and there is no turning back.

It's just one straight road to being free.

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I know it feels like fate...

Like these are mistakes we're meant to make...
(Losing It All - Shannon Noll)

And yes, I am reading 'Treat Them Mean and Keep Them Keen'. I obviously need help in that department - keeping them guys. Haha. I know, I know it's not something u can adopt from a book BUT it does give u a better bigger picture. Reading = learning.

These past few days have been a bit of a emotional rollercoaster for me, as I try to digest the changes that's happening. It seems a little difficult now, for sure...but I am pretty sure that in a couple of months time, I'll look back at this and say "It's over now, I am all good."

In the meantime, I shall keep my chin up, listen to lots of good music, drink a few margaritas and catch up with friends.

"This too shall pass."

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The Drama Mama Strikes!

Everybody's life has some drama, at one point or another. I guess mine has started today. And my birthday is around the corner some more. Perfect timing right? Or, maybe not!

As much as I love my aunties, (u gotta love them rite, they are family), sometimes they can just be exasperating and over the top. Take for instance Aunty B, who spends her time 'looking out' for eligible single guys and girls she can introduce each other to. She has been trying to set me up a guy, but so far it has yet to work out.

Just before I left for Melbourne, she decided to try to set me up with a 37-year-old guy, let's call him Mr P. Long story short, we have yet to meet, but he did add me on FB. He hasn't called me either nor has he messaged since the first day we communicated.

Now, it's almost a month since I returned from Melbourne and I haven't heard from him, so I have a hunch that Mr P is not interested. So I told Aunty B what I felt. She told me to hold on, cos' he is away in China for work so "just wait and see". So I waited.

Today, she sends me a forward of a message she sent to him. OVER the top message. It went something like this:

"Anyway P, if u are looking for a glamourous and attractive person, she is not the one but if u want someone who is soft spoken, pleasant, good natured and who comes from a good family,Anu is the one.

I am not praising her or the family but we come from a middle class family and I felt both of u can fit into our families. So I leave it to u but only hope everything will be ok."

How is that not embarrassing? I know she means well, but is this the right way to do it?
And yes, I may not be glamourous, but I do believe I am attractive, in my own way, Aunty B. As 'perasan' as it sounds, guys do drool over me, occasionally. But I can't tell u that, can I?

And what does Mr P reply? (yes, she forwarded me his reply too).

"Dear Aunty B I will surely meet her just that I don't feel well after the China trip. Hope it gets better soon for me to give a decision."

And that ladies and gentlemen, is the reality of a modern day arranged marriage proposal.

Aunty introduces Boy and Girl. They meet, on a so-called date at a chosen place. Aunty asks Girl how she feels then says, let's wait and see what he says. And so the waiting game begins. Days turn into weeks and still no word is heard. And then one fine day, Girl finds out Boy is not interested, one month or two later.

Of course that doesn't happen to each and every girl. I suppose it would help if the Girl is thin, fair and beautiful because at the end of the day, that is what counts. Not so much personality or character. And unfortunately, not all of us are blessed with "the look" but we do have a lot more to give but alas, those qualities are just not enough.

Can u blame me for not wanting to be hooked up this way? But I know she's only looking out for me, so how can I get mad? But I think it's time to tell my well meaning aunties that I've had enough of these introductions.

I think I shall continue to be single. It's working out pretty well so far, plus minus a few aches and pains. But that's normal - be it single, married, divorced. So it is fine then. Single it is.

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This Is Me!

What is it with personality tests? I can never get enough of them. Perhaps it is a way for me to understand myself better. Plus it's always so interesting. When the opportunity to find out about my personality comes by, I take it. This time around, the quiz has given me the comfort, (if that's the right word) that I am not the only one who goes through life's episodes this way. And somehow, that makes me feel better. It's not something I can explain, unfortunately, it just does. The (♪) indicates I agree with the statement.

Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Judging (INFJs)

*value personal integrity and "being true to yourself" ♪

*are on a lifelong search for a unique identity and meaning; spirituality is important to us ♪

*can be hard to get to know, depending on the other person (reciprocity) ♪

*are sometimes seen by others as cold and hard on the outside ♪

*can be difficult to "peg"; sometimes INFJs may not even recognise fellow members of their own type ♪

*may find it easier to express their deepest feelings and sentiments non-verbally or in writing ♪

*abhor evil or injustice, especially that directed towards the innocent or helpless ♪

*are sometimes looked upon by others as naive, mostly due to our idealism ♪

*can be quite gullible; many INFJs build up a protective armour over the years to protect against this and being "used" by others ♪

*enjoy thoughtful discussion but dislike arguing for argument's sake, as this often degenerates into ugly conflict (half a ♪)

*are bookworms, love bookstores and libraries ♪

*are affiliative; get stressed and cannot survive for extended periods without company ♪

*rarely get into conflict, but when it erupts, can be very bitter ♪

*aren't terribly career-minded (well I don't have grand ambitions of having my own company or being the boss, so half a ♪)

*love personality tests and other self-improvement tools ♪

*love quotes/quotations and are often "philosophers" or "theologists" ♪

*need to confide in others and express opinions and feelings about others: Fe-ing (Feeling extraverted)

*are "Directors" who give advice, though usually more subtly than most other Directors.

*are interested in ESP, paranormal, "new age," or psychic experiences (half a ♪)

*"Mute withdrawal is a major INFJ defense." ♪

*often have "oceanic" memories where details are recalled through intuitive leaps and thought association

At Work

INFJs tend to be devoted to what they believe in and seek work where their needs, values, and ideals can be deeply engaged. They move on the wave of their inspirations and are determined to see that their values are worked out in their lives. (True)

INFJs prefer occupations that focus on the big picture, involve conceptual awareness, and lead to a better understanding of the spiritual, emotional, or future needs of people. They want their work to have impact and meaning and for it to bring them admiration and respect. (True)

At Relationships

For INFJs, "still waters run deep." They tend to become attracted to someone special and prefer this one deep relationship over many superficial ones. (True)

They may not openly demonstrate, or even verbalize, their intense feelings. (True) INFJs often have an ideal standard of what love is. They hold to their ideal and are disappointed when, inevitably, their relationship and/or their mate reveals flaws.

INFJs, when scorned, take it personally and retreat inward. They may obsess about the relationship and their role in its failure. (True) INFJs may blame themselves and experience a period of mourning. If they do not marshall their resources, externalize their feelings, and take risks to move on, they may experience a long period of self-examination.

The test is based on the Carl Jung and Isabel Myers-Briggs typological approach to personality. If you want to find out or re-evaluate how personality type, check it out here.

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Where's that bull?

After more than 10 years of having an active online social life, I am ready to throw in the towel.

Well, ok so maybe 'throw' might be a tad far fetched. Perhaps 'keep-at-a-bottom-of-a-drawer' would be more like it. Just knowing that is there and that u can use it anytime u need to. That is more like it.

It started off pretty harmlessly, in the late 90's when the Internet made its presence. All for the sake of curiousity, I began surfing the web, chatting in various 'rooms' and made 'friends' along the way. mIRC, Yahoo chat rooms, ICQ. I had my share of online boyfriends - even one from the UK. A quiet and shy girl, being online was the one way I could talk to guys cos' I could never do that in real. I met many guys this way, through chattting, and dating sites and some say I was pretty brave to meet so many of them. I, like thousands of others, got absorbed into this exciting, online world and spent hours on it, feeling like it was a part of my world, my real world.

And boy did it feel real. I knew so much about a person, I could pretty much guess his next question. I would rush back home just to go msn messenger or chatrooms, just to chat with my 'friends'. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful for the online friends who have ended up being real friends, but...

Suddenly being online just doesn't do it for me anymore. The satisfaction that I felt is fast disappearing. Yes, I am still a little quiet but I am not that shy girl any more. I've grown up, matured. I can talk to guys now, I have evolved. And now I have the urge to be out of the house doing something, anything as long as it is something real. Watching theatre, exhibitons, jogging, walking. Whatever. Perhaps I've hidden myself away from the real world for too long and it is time to take the bull by its horns and just see what happens.

Let's see where the roads of life will take me.

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Life!

Sometimes life just doesn't work the way u want it to. Not that it is something new, or it comes as a surprise, yet when the moment comes when it doesn't go your way, the inevitable happens. Hurt. Sadness. Disappointment. But there is nothing you can do to change that. Only thing to do is to keep the spirits high and move along with the tide. And hope that one day the whole 'fake it until u make it' philosophy becomes a reality.

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Melbourne Momentos

Aryan loves his cricket!

Aryan getting ready to bat.

Aryan posing with his drum. After I took the photo, he wanted to see it. What a cutie!

Tiger Taj doing his stretches. He is my cousins' dog.

Mumbai's Indian take-away is in Melbourne!

Just another day in St. Kilda beach.

I like this quote. As seen at a language centre in the city (where I studied Spanish, incidently).

Is he a statue or a man? U will find out if you give him some money. :P

One of the sights while I often saw while I was on the train.

The Nachos Emma ordered at Time Out at Federation Square. Yummy!

With one of the many lovely latte's I had.

Overlooking the Yarra River (yes, that's the river I wanted to jump into. :P)

Moi resting after a whole lot of walking.

Emma and her slurpy from McDonalds.

Emma and I.

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I'm Back!

It's been a week since I got back from Melbourne. The trip made me re-think my priorities in life and I am on a quest to establish a healthier work life balance. I don't want to stay late at the office every day of the working week. I know that writer's block is inevitable, that assignments will pour in, but I will try to finish up stories as quickly (and as creatively as possible). That will be my resolution for the rest of the year. Anu Boleh!

Meanwhile, I must say that the Melbourne trip was fabulous. Coffee was good, company was great and what can I say about the shopping? Fantabulous! I realised that shopping for bargains is as adreline pumping as finishing a story. Yes, I am serious! I shall explain. When I start working on a story, I feel motivated and focused on one thing - an interesting story. When I start shopping (for bargains), I feel pumped and visualise that I will soon be getting the best bargains. If there is a deadline on the story, I will be glued to the chair until I am done with it. Hunger pangs disappear, I feel full and can only think about eating after I am done. Same with shopping. I had a meal at Hungry Jacks at 11am, and I had no thoughts of eating at Bridge Road, Richmond or the city until I got my bargain shopping done. Only when it was all over, was I hungry. In conclusion, the fact that I feel the same way about shopping and writing means that that I do really enjoy my job (and yes, shopping).

Anyways, I digress. I loved the trip. I had fun with my cousins, playing with my nephew Aryan, and had a good time catching up with friends. I totally loved my trips to the city and it was like, so easy and natural for me there.

There was one time that the thought of jumping into Yarra River crossed my mind (there was this extremely 'loving' couple walking in front of me) but then I thought about all those lovely bargains I got and decided it wasn't worth it. Haha. (Good joke eh?) But seriously, there were a few times when I wished I was with someone there. Only because I've been there countless of times on my own, and when there is someone else with u, it becomes a different sorta memory. Plus, it's extremely difficult to take photos of yourself. That would explain the lack of 'me' photos I have taken this time. Credit goes to my friend Emma who took all photos of me, on a cold, cloudy day in Melbourne. Photos are coming up....SOON!

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Anu on holiday!

This is going to be a shorty, as in a short post. Busy as usual, but come Friday, Feb 19 I shall be flying off to Melbourne, Australia for a 2 week break. Woo hoo! Coffee, Wine, Hungry Jack's Grilled Chicken burgers -I'm comingggggggg!

I promised myself that I will not think about work and do as much shopping as I can. And enjoy. I shall take some pictures as well... and will upload them on the blog as soon as I can.

Laterz!

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Hair on holiday!

Last weekend, I decided to get a haircut. When I went to the hairdresser, I spontaneously decided to ask her if there was anything I could do to lessen the frizz, and she said I could 'relax' the hair - which I did. And now it is pretty straight. No curls to be seen at all. Mom obviously hates that I did this to my hair - anything natural is best, of course.

Initially, I was wondering if I had made the right choice but, honestly it's so much easier to maintain. No need to spend more than 2 minutes to blow dry the hair either. I won't be upset when the hair goes to being crazily curly, but until then, I shall enjoy this non-curly hair, as much as I can for as long as I can.

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Oh Ne-Yo!

It's not that I have forgotten about him. It's just that I wanted to blog about it when I was relaxed and not rushing for deadlines. So the days turned into weeks and then I get reminded by Saby about my non-existent post about the fabulous Ne-Yo. Finally, two weeks later, the time has arrived. Here is my lil' ode to Ne-Yo.

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When I first found out that I was assigned to cover Ne-Yo's concert and press conference I was excited. Who wouldn't be right? He is ONLY one of the most talented singer-songwriters around. And there was the whole 'Gentleman' thing - I wanted to know exactly how much of a gentleman he was.

As usual the press conference started late, but it worth it. Ne-Yo, who wore his signature fedora answered the questions us, media asked, but was tight lipped about a question we all wanted to know the most - Has he found his 'Miss Independent?' Anyways, 20 mintues later, it was time for last questions and I asked him what is he expecting from his fans in the concert - and he replied to have lots of energy and to be ready to have a good time. I was quite happy that I got to ask him a question although there were many journalists there.

So I was totally excited when I found out that I had another chance to interview 'the gentleman' - Universal Music had a round table interview with him, on the morning of his concert. I didn't sleep very well that night, I was pretty excited about seeing him again.

I arrived at the Sunway Resort Hotel & Spa the next morning, a few minutes before interview time. I was sure that I would have to wait for one of the most famous R&B personalities in the world - but surprise, suprise Ne-Yo was right on time.

After we (there were five of us) entered the private area where the interview was held, Ne-Yo came in and we shook hands with him. As he shook my hands, Ne-Yo said "I remember you from yesterday." Needless to say I was estactic and was speechless for a bit. Haha. Anyways, he answered our questions with so much sincerity and believe me when I tell you that he is one of the most down to earth and 'real' person (and celebrity) I've met.

Once the 20 minute interview was over, one of the writers asked him if he could take a photo with him and he was very willing and was happy to do so. So I jumped on the bandwagon too and the result? Oh, just this very dorky photo of me and Ne-Yo. What do you think?

Ne-Yo and moi!

Ne-Yo Trivia

1. He has around 1000 fedoras. Yes, he does!
2. If he could 'keep' any of the songs he wrote for other singers, he would keep 'Let Me Love You' by Mario, for himself.
3. He said that if he didn't end up in the music industry, he would probably be begging (cos' music was the only career he wanted)
4. He'd love to work with John Mayer and GreenDay in the future.
5. He loves spicy food (but didn't get a chance to try our Nasi Lemak. (maybe it was a blessing in disguise. who knows what would have 'happened' if he did.)

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Bright, sunshiny day.

Funny how sometimes, all you need is one weekend away to get things in pespective. And I really do mean in pespective. It's like that song 'I Can See Clearly Now'.

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,

I can see all obstacles in my way,

Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind,

It's gonna be a bright, bright sunshiny day.

Ok so I have yet to see the bright, sunshiny day but I do know that it's there, just a little further on the horizon.

As long as I'm reaching out to it, it will come. I know it will come.

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Hello 2010!

Every year starts off with a list of hopes and promises and this year is no exception.

For years I always wished for the opportunity to write for a living and finally, last year I finally achieved that one.

One wish that has remained constant is the hope of finding that special someone, the one who will complement me. Time passes and a few potentials came along, but none stayed. And he remains elusive, until today.

I can't pretend that I no longer have this hope, for I would only be cheating myself. I must admit there are times when I am almost ready to give up. But a small part of me, deep inside just won't let me do that.

Que Sera Sera, the future is not ours to see. But this year, I want to be able to love those around me better, to show these special people how much they mean to me.

In between learning to write better, driving again, yoga, spanish lessons and writing a play, I want to be able to share my thoughts and feelings to those who make a difference in my life.

And make 2010 a beautiful year. Happy New Year to you!

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